In May 2014 I wrote a treatment for Die Hard 6 and sent it off to 20th Century Fox. They liked it so I got to pitch the film at their London office.
The concept title was Die Hard 6: A Galactic Way to Die Hard. Basically, the plot escalates to having McClane in space fighting intergalactic Romanian terrorists.
Fox requested I drop the space station laser battle against a Bucharest street fighting squad and swap it for a father-daughter moment. “How about a father-daughter moment during the laser battle?" I asked. They loved it and sent out for a tray of biscuits. Collaboration is important in filmmaking.
Things got tense when they said that MacClane joyriding an asteroid into the terrorist space station was “a bit much”. Because I was wearing a tie and had on that expensive looking cologne my sister got me for Christmas, I was in a confident mood. I slammed my fist on the table, “If that scene goes, I go!” and the room went into an uncomfortable silence - it was an unfortunate moment for the Hobnobs to arrive.
You have to be tough with these executive types, otherwise they’ll turn up on set and demand that MacClane’s spaceship has to resemble a Toyota Yaris for sponsorship reasons.
After a tough thirty minute negotiation I managed to get them to agree I could take the hobnobs home as long as I left immediately and never contacted them again.
Rumour has it that Fox are going to green light a script where McClane takes on the entire continent of Africa. It’s a loose adaption of J. M. Coetzee’s Noble prize winning novel Disgrace.
Below is an extract of the asteroid scene. Leave a comment if you fancy financing the script as it could be easily adapted to be a Taken or a James Bond film. It could even a be used as another Chris Pine action movie vehicle - I'm adaptable.
342. EXT. SPACE (NIGHT)
343. GABOR'S SPACE STATION
A laser cannon slowly ERECTS from the base of the station. Gabor smiles to himself and pops an olive into his mouth.
GABOR
Let’s see you and your whore of a daughter worm your way out of this, MacClane.
SPACE TROOPER #1
Laser cannon charging. Live in t-minus 90 seconds, commander.
Gabor spits out the olive pip and it floats away. Space Trooper #2 grabs it and puts it into his space-pocket.
344. JOHN MACCLANE'S SPACESHIP - COCKPIT
The engine on John's spaceship MISFIRES - twice. John punches the throttle.
JOHN MACCLANE
Come on you shit-heap!
Lucy looks over toward the space station.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
Dad! They have a laser gun!
JOHN MACCLANE
Well that’s fucking great. Pain in my arse, god damn mother fucking space Romanians.
Still with her eye on the space station she sees a glow starting to emanate from the laser gun.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
They’re getting ready to fire! Do something - quick!
John looks over his shoulder and spots a small ASTEROID (the size of a car) about to fly past the spaceship.
JOHN MACCLANE
Fine!
John takes the ladder down to the CARGO BAY. Lucy calls after him.
345. CARGO BAY
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE (O.S.)
Dad! What are you doing! We need to get the hell out of here.
John frantically looks round the cargo bay. There is nothing but heaps of useless items.
JOHN MACCLANE
Shut up for a second will ya – I’m thinking.
346. COCKPIT
Lucy watches the cannon start to glow yellow.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
Oh shit! This is bad, this is bad! Hurry up, dad! It’s turning yellow!
347. CARGO BAY
JOHN MACCLANE
Shut up a minute!
(muttering to self)
Of all the daughters in the world, mine has to be the one to get kidnapped by a psycho space-pirate.
John picks up a METAL CHAIN, a HARPOON GUN and TWO FIRE EXTINGUISHERS. He looks out the window at the asteroid. It’s getting close to passing the spaceship.
JOHN MACCLANE
(to-self)
What are you doing, John? This is a stupid, this is real stupid.
John begins to put on his space suit.
348. COCKPIT
JOHN MACCLANE (O.S.)
Lucy, how’s that laser gun doing?
Lucy’s eyes are wide with fear. The gun is now a deep yellow and the glow around them is growing rapidly.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
Not good!
349. CARGO BAY
John is fastening the space suit.
JOHN MACCLANE
(calling to his daughter)
Tell, Holly – your mother – I’m, I’m...I should have called her back.
349. COCKPIT
Lucy looks away from the laser gun and looks over to the ladder.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
What do you mean? What are you doing? Dad!
350. CARGO BAY
JOHN MACCLANE
(to-self)
I have no idea.
John puts on his space helmet.
351. GABOR’s SPACE STATION.
The glow from the laser gun is huge and looks like it’s ready to fire. Gabor spits out a pip and puts another olive into his mouth.
SPACE TROOPER #1
T-minus 45 seconds.
GABOR
Just an old man in the wrong place at the wrong time.
352. JOHN’s SPACESHIP
The hatch door opens and John exits the spaceship. The METAL CHAIN is wrapped over his shoulder, the TWO FIRE EXTINGUISHERS are under his left arm and strapped to his thigh is the HARPOON. The asteroid is fast approaching.
353. GABOR’s SPACE STATION
GABOR
(amused)
What on earth is this crazy bastard doing now?
354. JOHN’s SPACESHIP
John closes the hatch door, pushes himself off and LOCKS HIS FOOT INTO THE HANDLE so he doesn't float away. He is now HORIZONTAL and looks for the asteroid – it’s about to pass.
JOHN MACCLANE
(mimicking)
“Become a part-time PI, John. Spend some quality time with the family, John. A nice, quiet life, John”.
John RIPS OFF THE HARPOON from his thigh. He looks toward the space station - the laser cannon is almost fully primed.
JOHN MACCLANE (continued)
I miss the god-damn Germans.
John AIMS the harpoon at the asteroid.
355. GABOR’s SPACE STATION
Gabor watches McClane about to fire at the asteroid.
GABOR
No, surely? No. Where's my damn laser cannon!
SPACE TROOPER #1
32 seconds commander!
356. JOHN’s SPACESHIP
John FIRES THE HARPOON at the asteroid. It PIERCES the rock. Holding tightly onto the harpoon, John gets PULLED AWAY with the asteroid.
JOHN MACCLANE
(shouting)
Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
357. COCKPIT
Lucy watches her father get dragged away by the asteroid as he starts to PULL HIMSELF TOWARD its surface.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
He is crazy.
(punching the spaceship's throttle)
Come on you pile of shit! Come on!
358. ASTEROID
With a large heave, John makes it to the asteroid surface. He places the TWO FIRE EXTINGUISHERS in a hole in the centre of the of the asteroid. He then SECURES them to a large rock with the METAL CHAIN. He grips hold of the HARPOON ROPE with his left hand and positions himself as if he was about to WATER SKI.
JOHN MACCLANE
(to-self)
What the fuck are you doing, John? This is a bad idea, a bad idea.
With his right hand he PULLS OFF THE SAFETY TAGS from the fire extinguishers, grabs hold of the rope with both hands and puts his TWO FEET onto the EXTINGUISHER TRIGGERS. The force from the extinguishers cause the asteroid to hurtle TOWARDS THE SPACE STATION.
359. GABOR’s SPACE STATION
Gabor watches with disbelief.
GABOR
Impossible!
360. COCKPIT
Lucy sees that the laser is now fully charged, glowing bright yellow.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
Shit-shit-shit!
She punches the throttle with everything she has – it KICKS INTO GEAR.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE(continued)
Yes!
361. GABOR’s SPACE STATION
SPACE TROOPER #1
Ready to fire, commander!
Gabor delays his response to fire – he is too MESMERISED by John hurtling toward him on an asteroid.
SPACE TROOPER #1 (continued)
Commander!
GABOR
(panicking)
Fire! Fire god damn it!
An olive pip flies out of his mouth.
362. ASTEROID
The asteroid is seconds away from impacting into the Space Station’s laser cannon.
JOHN MACCLANE
Yippee ki yay motherfucker!
John yanks one of the fire extinguishers from the rock and let’s go of the harpoon rope. He hugs the extinguisher and TRIGGERS the nozzle – firing him away from the asteroid.
363. GABOR’s SPACE STATION
The asteroid is point blank range from the laser cannon. The LASER FIRES, but the asteroid takes the full impact of the laser and EXPLODES. The impact, too close to the Space Station, blows a MASSIVE HOLE in the hull.
GABOR
MacClaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane!
GABOR and all his space troopers get SUCKED INTO SPACE as the ship gets ripped apart.
364. SPACE
The force of the explosion causes John to fly toward his spaceship. Debris flies past him.
JOHN MACCLANE
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
As Gabour flies out into space, his skin starts to bubble and expand rapidly.
365. COCKPIT
Lucy spots her dad hurtling toward the spaceship at speed.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
I’m coming for you dad!
The spaceship spins and flies towards John, with Lucy DODGING debris from the explosion.
366. JOHN'S SPACESHIP
John LANDS on the windscreen of his spaceship and SIGNALS to Lucy to get the hell out of there. The spaceship flies off as John starts to climb his way to the hatch door at the back.
367. SPACE
Space Trooper #2's head and body explode – sending the olive pips from his pocket flying over Gabor. It’s the last thing Gabor sees before his head violently explodes into a gloop of blood.
368. CARGO BAY
John has climbed back inside the spaceship's cargo bay – closing the hatch door behind him. He takes his helmet off and collapses onto the floor LAUGHING.
369. COCKPIT
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
(Calling down to her dad)
Dad! Are you alright? You’re crazy, you know that. God damn crazy.
370. CARGO BAY
John pats himself down looking for cigarettes.
JOHN MACCLANE
(still laughing)
Hey, I saved your life didn’t I?
He finds a pack of cigarettes and pops one into his mouth.
371. COCKPIT
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
(smiling)
Yeah did dad, yeah you did.
John CLIMBS up the ladder to join his daughter in the cockpit. He starts looking for a light.
JOHN MACCLANE
Where did you learn to fly one of these things anyway?
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
I work for a secret government space program – USSR – United States Space Response.
JOHN MACCLANE
Well – shit. When were you going to let me know?
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
Dad, it’s a secret government program.
John shakes his head and pulls out a zippo with the USA flag on it and SPARKS IT ALIGHT.
JOHN MACCLANE
Family - huh.
John is just about to light the cigarette when Lucy BLOWS OUT the flame.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
Absolutely no smoking.
JOHN MACCLANE
Oh what, smoking's too dangerous but rescuing you from a terrorist space station then flying an asteroid into it is perfectly fine for my health?
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
No dad. The smoke messes with the air filtration.
JOHN MACCLANE
Is that so?
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
(smiling)
Trust me, I work in space.
John throws the cigarette away.
JOHN MACCLANE
(jokingly)
God damn family.
LUCY GENNARO MCCLANE
Now. Let’s go stop that moon nuke.
JOHN MACCLANE
Am I at least allowed to smoke on the moon?
END SCENE
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