Dan Kay is a member of the Wingate Wide Boys, London's only non-league football firm who follow Wingate and Finchley FC. But Dan has been feeling down in the dumps lately so his firm leader, Big T, suggested that he should keep a diary to help him project his feelings. Here is his first entry:
We were at the Tavern watching the 12 kick off. It was a Premiership game and this foreign lad did a few step overs and put it in the top corner. I thought it was a good goal and was about to say we could do with some of that at the Abrahams but Dave sneered and called him a fancy footed fuck and said it wasn't a proper goal. The lads nodded so I didn't say anything then we all looked at the floor and went quiet for a bit.
I asked if Big T was coming, but Trev said he wasn't because he had to take the wife to B&Q for some wardrobes. I thought about getting the bus down to help him and Stacy pick out a set, but then I thought it would be awkward so I didn't.
Kick off. We were at home against Canvey Island. There from Essex so Dave started a chant about them being fake tanned twats but then they scored so we didn't feel like chanting about their tans anymore. Then they started to chant "You only sing when you're winning!" but we couldn't think of anything to sing back, so we just stood in silence.
After 70 minutes we were 3-0 down and they started shouting "Easy! Easy! Easy!" so I started chanting "You're going home in a fucking ambulance!" but the lads didn't join in so I just put my hands in my pockets and hoped no one noticed.
Four minutes later we were 4-0 down so I threw a coin at their right back.
"Was that a two pound coin, Dan?" Dave asked.
"Yes," I replied.
"What you wasting your money on these wankers for?" Then he shook his head and didn't speak to me for the rest of the game. I don't think Dave likes me very much.
After the final whistle I flipped off the ref but he wasn't looking so I left.
I waited 20 minutes for the bus, but when it came I remembered I threw my fare at that right back so I had to walk.
When I got home I found the right back on Twitter and called him a dickhead. He didn't tweet me back though.
