My 20th Century Fox Die Hard 6 Script Pitch

In May 2014 I wrote a treatment for Die Hard 6 and sent it off to 20th Century Fox. They liked it so I got to pitch the film at their London office.

The concept title was Die Hard 6: A Galactic Way to Die Hard. Basically, the plot escalates to having McClane in space fighting intergalactic Romanian terrorists.

Fox requested I drop the space station laser battle against a Bucharest street fighting squad and swap it for a father-daughter moment. “How about a father-daughter moment during the laser battle?" I asked. They loved it and sent out for a tray of biscuits. Collaboration is important in filmmaking.

Things got tense when they said that MacClane joyriding an asteroid into the terrorist space station was “a bit much”. Because I was wearing a tie and had on that expensive looking cologne my sister got me for Christmas, I was in a confident mood. I slammed my fist on the table, “If that scene goes, I go!” and the room went into an uncomfortable silence - it was an unfortunate moment for the Hobnobs to arrive.

You have to be tough with these executive types, otherwise they’ll turn up on set and demand that MacClane’s spaceship has to resemble a Toyota Yaris for sponsorship reasons.

After a tough thirty minute negotiation I managed to get them to agree I could take the hobnobs home as long as I left immediately and never contacted them again.

Rumour has it that Fox are going to green light a script where McClane takes on the entire continent of Africa. It’s a loose adaption of J. M. Coetzee’s Noble prize winning novel Disgrace.

Below is an extract of the asteroid scene. Leave a comment if you fancy financing the script as it could be easily adapted to be a Taken or a James Bond film. It could even a be used as another Chris Pine action movie vehicle - I'm adaptable.

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342. EXT. SPACE (NIGHT)

John MacClane's spaceship is DRIFTING without power.

343. GABOR'S SPACE STATION

A laser cannon slowly ERECTS from the base of the station. Gabor smiles to himself and pops an olive into his mouth.

GABOR

Let’s see you and your whore of a daughter worm your way out of this, MacClane.

SPACE TROOPER #1

Laser cannon charging. Live in t-minus 90 seconds, commander.

Gabor spits out the olive pip and it floats away. Space Trooper #2 grabs it and puts it into his space-pocket.

Conversations With The Owner of Beer, Booze and Food - Part 1

The man who owns my local convenience store Beer, Booze and Food is either a poet or a man falling into insanity. Here are some of his conversation highlights. Part two here.

Purchase: a single onion
“Sometimes you need just one onion, sometimes two. Maybe three. But there is always too many or too few. And it only ever happens with onions. Onions are like that and no one knows why.”

While staring out the window while the 2001 chip and pin card machine transmitted
“I wish I was a cloud. You wouldn’t know you were one but everyone else would. You’d either end up pissing on everyone, or just disappear into nothing.”

Purchase: milk
“A man once left a bottle of milk behind. I left it out for him for a while, but he didn't come back. After a day I had to throw it away. I sometimes think he will come back and ask why I threw his milk away but he never has.”

Purchase: tequila
“Tequila is very bad. I drank too much one time and convinced myself that if I ate a fish eye I’d see everything the fish had seen in its life. It scared me so I didn’t eat it, but then I decided that would be fantastic so I did. Nothing happened though.”

When I asked him why he only stocks two types of bread but seven types of olive jars
“Olives are better than bread. People on diets can eat olives.”

Purchase: lighter
“There is an English man who buys a lighter every week, sometimes two. I thought I should tell him to just buy a pack of them from the pound shop, but he is a grown man, he should know these things.”

Purchase: bunch of bananas and a daime bar
“You want to buy a watermelon? No? No one does. I don’t know what to do with them. I have a whole crate. That’s crazy. What was I thinking. Watermelons in London.”

Restocking the freezer while wearing protective gloves
“I don’t know why I have these gloves but I do so I thought I’d wear them and now I have hot hands.”